Building Your Tribe

Throughout the years I’ve faced challenges, from financial issues to a divorce to having an unexpected child with no one to watch your toddler, it’s truly been a life worth living. I am one of those who would much rather give than take. I am horrible at asking for help until I just can’t do it anymore. Well, over the last month life has truly gotten challenging for me. I’ve had to pay thousands towards an unexpected expense and I’ve had to go with less income in the process. Budget changes had to be made and I had to reach out to family and friends for help in various ways.

This has truly been a humbling experience. The moment I mention the troubles I have and the help I need I have a member of my “tribe” reach out to help. I don’t need to depend on the generosity of strangers. I have friends in my neighborhood stepping out to help me, friends in other states helping because they saw my struggles over the years, and my family who never fails to support my life decisions. I’m tearing up just thinking of the ways those in my life have stepped in to help.

Admitting I’m weak is so hard. I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to depend on others. But…the reality is that I’m a single mother of four & I need help.

I’ve been living on my own with my children for 1.5 years and here’s my list of things YOU, even as a single mother, can do to help your struggling friends if you choose to do so:

1. Babysitting Help – I can’t tell you how many times I miss being able to grocery shop without kids, or just go out by myself. This is what I offer to others because it’s really all I have to offer right now!

2. Dinners – I have the best friend & her husband & I LOVE how they seem to always have enough dinner for me as well…I can’t thank them enough for being in my life.

3. Cleaning Help – I love having friends come over and hold me accountable. Constructive criticism is something I live for!

4. Lawncare – Mowing my lawn is the least of my worries but it has to be done. My Dad truly is an amazing man, he mows my lawn at least once a month for me & I can’t thank him enough.

5. Handyman Services – I can reach out to me friends and family to help move furniture, change lightbulbs (even on a ladder I’m too short 😂), etc. It’s amazing knowing everyone’s skills!

6. Sewing Help – My kids tear holes in their clothes & dolls regularly. My Mom is such a big help with fixing these holes if they’re ones I’m having trouble fixing! She also reminds me that some may not be salvaged.

7. Dog Walking – I didn’t choose to have two dogs but with my divorce one of the dogs was abandoned by her true owner. I wasn’t going to make her find a new family so we have two dogs now. I love when the kids want to walk the dogs to help me & I know it’s helpful to offer to walk someone else’s dog (or dogsit for them!).

I’m sure there’s much more that I didn’t list, but I know these are ways I’ve been able to help others and others have helped me. What are some ways you’d appreciate help? What are some ways you’d help others?

1 thought on “Building Your Tribe

  1. MELANIE A. HEINRICHS August 13, 2018 — 8:13 pm

    I know that I’d help that single mom by trying to get it thru her head that using the word ‘weak’ in describing herself is the wrong word..I think the correct words to name a few would be strength,courage,determined..Everyone needs help,whether it’s a few bucks for a gallon of milk to a loan at the bank for a house and whatever else in between..And I’m sure we’d do it over a glass of cheap wine or cheap beer..I’ve been there and done that and it doesn’t taste cheap when you’ve got a friend to share it with..unless it’s really really bad and then you laugh and have another!

    Liked by 1 person

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