By now everyone has seen the horror story that is Jason Collier (Police Chief/Minister Adultery-specialist). This is a story that’s being shared with identities changed to protect some parties.
Kristin met Joseph when she was 19 and in training for the military. She hadn’t even noticed him before the day her friend told her that he had the biggest crush on her. She was shocked. Most men were scared of her because she was athletic and didn’t flirt. Within days of meeting he was writing her the most loving notes. His love notes talked about how amazing she was. They talked about how he never met anyone like her. He mentioned how she was everything he could ever want and more. She became smitten, even as she started unraveling his lies. He always had an excuse, or someone else to blame.
His family was tight lipped too. His mother was a single mother and, later admitted, she was fearful of losing her only son so she went along with his lies and deceit. Even now, years later, she does whatever possible to keep the peace with her son. Even if it means missing out on her grand babies and a healthier family dynamic.
So, Kristin got engaged to Joseph within a few months of meeting him and married shortly after. They moved to the same base. They both wanted babies together. She got pregnant right away. He seemed excited. She was at the base as he deployed. Shortly afterwards she was getting emails and phone calls about his affair. Then affairs. Then she saw proof he was spending money on other women. She was mortified. She was abandoned while pregnant…but she still held out hope. She hoped that he would realize the family he wanted was right here & he was throwing it away.
She filled her days with working long hours and coaching youth sports. She saw a counselor to figure out her plans. She decorated for the holidays around the time he was returning so he could be there for the birth of their child. They were far from family but his mother Roberta came to visit her while he was deployed. She was so apologetic and sorry for what he was doing. She was excited to be a grandma. Kristin assured her that no matter what she would make sure she could be a grandma to their baby. Kristin’s mom kept in touch with Roberta.
Joseph was supposed to be there to see Kristin just weeks before her due date. Kristin took the morning off, got as cute as she could get at 9 months pregnant, and went to see her husband. See, in Kristin’s mind she felt if he put in the effort she would make them work. But she knew it had to be both of them. No more lies. No more dishonesty. So, she waited. And everyone got off of the bus. Except for him.
Kristin was devastated. She knew right then she’d be alone with the baby. She spent years trying to figure out where she went wrong. At the end of the day she realized she couldn’t fix him. A woman can never fix a man who doesn’t want to fix himself. She realized her baby just needed love. Her baby is now one of the sweetest and most loving people you could ever meet. The amount of empathy and love in that child is more than most adults dream about having. That child makes a difference in everyone’s life and can tell when someone just needs a hug.
Through the years she kept a rough estimate of his location & reached out to him whenever their baby asked about Joseph. Years passed & Kristin found out Joseph was remarried with a baby…but still trying to lie and deceit others. Kristin waited. She kept her son safe. Then, Kristin was in the position to where she could testify against Joseph in court for his new wife, soon to be ex-wife. Kristin was nervous. She hadn’t seen the man in years, ever since he abandoned her with their baby. The baby they both wanted and dreamed about. The baby they tried for.
Kristin saw Joseph and felt so strong. She stood in the courthouse with her new husband’s support and she waited for her chance to testify against him. She had no idea that he would be unorganized and a mess and settle the scheduled two day trial in less than hours. Kristin realized then that she wasn’t there to make sure he understood the pain he caused her years ago. She was there to support her baby’s sibling and her mother. She realized that the babies are what mattered. And she did it. She faced her fears of the man who told her how worthless she was years ago after giving birth to their baby and she smiled. And waved. And hugged his now ex-wife.
These men are everywhere. So many people really believe, even with proof that shows otherwise, that their son was forced to cheat or lie. Sadly, later in life these people realize the only reason they stayed on a man like Joseph’s side, or Jason Collier’s side, was because they feared what he would take away from them. Or what he would expose about them.
It’s time to love each other. It’s time to stand up to these men and make sure these women who think they’re the love of their lives understand. It’s a horrible, twisted game…and they will take anything they can. Joseph is with a new woman now who swears he’s changed…even though she’s one of many already. Yet again.