I’m a Fat Mom. That’s Okay.

I’ve had five babies. All of those pregnancies lasted 37-40 weeks. My smallest baby was 7 lbs & my biggest was 10 lbs 4 oz. Some babies I got no stitches for. Some babies I got 45+ stitches for. Some babies I was back in shape by 4 months postpartum & some babies it took 2 years. Each pregnancy was different. Each birth was different. Each first year of life was different.

I found out after having baby #5 that getting back into fighting shape so quickly after my first baby may have actually caused long term issues that weren’t present until I had to do physical therapy & future possibly surgeries after my fifth. I knew nothing about pelvic floor issues. However, I did know of women in my life telling me how they got down to pre-pregnancy weight within weeks of having their babies. I always felt fat, even when I was thin, because of these comments. I wondered why when I breastfed babies I couldn’t lose the weight. I thought when someone cheated right after I had two babies back to back it was because I was fat. It made me feel miserable.

Now, I was never morbidly obese & even at my biggest I was still able to play sports & be active. This time is different. My pelvis is still not 100% and he is 14 months old now. My lower abs don’t react to any exercises because they’re still trying to heal from surgery & birth. I don’t recognize the body I see in the mirror.

The funny thing is…I learned after losing the weight after baby #3 that being skinny didn’t bring me happiness. No, what brought me happiness was the cuddles from my babies & our themed dinners…and the treats my babies make for me now! We just got over a stomach bug…and my 9 & 10 year old daughters decided dinner would be brownies & chocolate chip pancakes. I said sure! (I was sick at this point so I wasn’t eating or cooking anyway)

They all were so thoughtful and loving to each other that night. They made sure I was taken care of. They stepped up when I was suffering. They didn’t care that mom was sick or fat. They cared that we all had what we needed.

I couldn’t have said this better myself

My husband is one of the only men I’ve known who means what he says in regards to my body. I remember men in my past when I was way smaller than I am now cheating on me or calling me fat. They didn’t know how to respect a woman, but, in hind site, many of these types of men don’t even respect their own mothers unless they have something to gain from it.

My body has given birth to five world changing babies. My body has known hurt. My physical body has worn my emotional pains. Over and over again. My body has stretched to fit babies way too big for my body. My body will recover. It always does. Maybe with a little help…but it always recovers. Love yourself. Show yourself grace. Your babies will thank you.

This is a video I took about a month ago. I was traumatized by how fat I was. But, my baby didn’t care. He won’t care. Unless I care. I’m letting my body heal at it’s own pace. Even though I’m “fat” I was able to get off of my postpartum blood pressure medicine within 8 months of having my son. I was able to fix my iron within six weeks of having him. The weight loss will come. When my body tells me it can.

My fat self playing with my baby 💕

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