It’s no secret that I have A LOT I can be judged for in my life. I was a single mom, twice. I stayed with abusive, adulterous men. I’ve gone to school while raising kids. I’ve worked full time while raising kids. I’ve run while pregnant. I’ve deployed as a mother. I’ve spoken my truth. I’ve left my kids with sitters that ended up being horrible. I’ve breastfed. I’ve formula fed. I’ve co-slept. I’ve turned a car seat too early. I’ve forgotten to buckle in a car seat & found out leaving my driveway. I’ve yelled at my kids. I’ve hated myself. I’ve dated and left my kids with family. I’ve dropped a baby off of the bed (ok, so they rolled…). I’ve been judged for leaving my job to raise my children. I’ve been judged for not leaving my job to raise my children. I’ve been judged for climbing the corporate ladder for my family. I could go on & on with what I can be judged for or what I have been judged for.
But, recently, I had a woman pretty much introduce herself into MY house, right after I was told she hated me so I informed her I didn’t know her so her hatred was crazy. I let her know the things she was unaware of in her own home & why I placed limits for my children.
She came at me. My husband watched me handle her judgmental self, only interjecting when need be. Her child came at me too, like I was a big monster. You see, sometimes kids KNOW their antics won’t be believed in their home. So, they tell others stories so they feel welcome somewhere else. This woman believed I was this big monster without talking to me…only to realize she was getting lied to as well.
These are just some of the things that went on in the house of the woman who judged me:
1. She hid a vape for underage children,
2. She gives unrestricted access to electronics causing her child to send photos not approved for child dissemination.,
3. She allowed co-ed sleepovers IN the same room, and
4. She STILL judges me for my parenting,
And you know what? That’s okay.
I’m okay with her judgment. I’m okay with my children complaining that I don’t let them on certain websites. I’m okay with my kids calling me a “cyber-stalker” because I check their devices. I’m okay with my kids having to find other houses to hide drugs in because I run a tight ship.
I offered help. You see, with a master’s degree in Cybersecurity, my kids don’t get away with much. I use my own resources and paid ones to monitor things. They’ve embraced the fact that it’s easier for them to ask me for things online. They’ve had to write essays just to get accounts (TikTok is still banned for the kids to have their own accounts).
But, they do know the threats to our world. They know the monsters online. They tell me about things that make them uncomfortable. They ask me about hacking incidents on the news and what that means to our world. This pipeline hack has made them realize if it’s that easy to hack infrastructure just imagine how easy it is to hack their devices.
I am far from perfect.
Feel free to judge.
However, if you need help I’m here for you, even if you’ve judged me in the past. We need a better world. We need more understanding and love.
We all have different strengths & weaknesses but working together makes us stronger.