I’ve had experience with multiple schools in multiple states and the various PTAs. Something I’ve noticed across the board is that there are very few fathers on the PTA.
“Working fathers who prioritize their kids might be better at their jobs” – Academy of Management Perspectives
This paper was published back in 2015 but it shows that the MORE time a father spends with his child the MORE satisfied they are with their job.
Time spent with children had “a significant positive effect on job satisfaction, a significant negative effect on job-withdrawal intentions, a significant negative effect on work-family conflict, and a significant positive effect on work-family enrichment.”
Why is it so acceptable for fathers to just work, especially if it’s been proven in multiple ways it’s beneficial for the children to have BOTH parents volunteering or prioritizing kids? I’ve been on the PTA with mothers who have their own full time jobs as well. I’ve volunteered to paint faces at events, clip BoxTops, etc. and so many times the volunteers I would see were always the mothers or even grandmothers. Teachers with no kids would volunteer more than fathers. I’m currently working a full time job, volunteering with the PTA on the board, and coaching two soccer teams.
My job gives EVERY employee, not just the mothers, eight hours of paid “education” leave. This can be used to support your kids in school events or your own education. My mother & I both use ours to attend events for our kids. I use other vacation days to be there for other things. My husband, who is the stepfather to our school-aged children, takes vacation days to chaperone field trips. He’s part of our school’s Fathers Being Involved (FBI) group. This group is small but mighty. The kids LOVE their high-fives on Fridays with them, or basketball games. They’re looking forward to a Touch a Truck event in a couple of weeks.
So again, why don’t more fathers get involved? So many feel as long as they’re financially supporting they’re good enough.
There have been quite a few studies that unanimously show kids who have INVOLVED FATHERS (it doesn’t have to be their biological father either) are WAY better off…like I’m talking about 82% of these kids thrive far better than kids with substandard fathers.
So many mothers feel guilt when they’re JUST financially supporting so they volunteer for so many other things. They make sure kids get extra time with them. This goes for stepmothers too. Far too often the mother and stepmother carry the bulk of parenting. I know I’m lucky for the amount of help my husband gives to our kids with homework, running hygiene products to school, picking up sick kids, etc. He comments on how it’s always the same few fathers he sees when he volunteers for anything. He will work and just get a couple of hours of sleep and then come and support the kids, whether it’s coaching soccer or high-fiving kids as they enter the school.
Kids who have involved fathers who read to them…yes, JUST reading a book, have far better cognitive skills. My husband & I purposely take turns reading stories to our kids. Our 10 & 12 year olds still join us some nights. Bedtime stories are great times to just connect with all of our kids and many times we all fill our master bed just to share these short stories together.
Did you know the UNITED STATES had the most fatherless families??
The U.S. Census shows that there are an estimated 72 million fathers & of those fathers 24 million are still with their spouse. There are two million single fathers living with their children and 20% of single parents are fathers. The total amount of stay at home dads in 2020 is 215,000.
Girls with involved fathers are more likely to have healthier, more confident relationships with boys in adolescence and men in adulthood. This is because girls have a greater opportunity to learn from their fathers how men should act toward women. They understand from experience which behaviors are inappropriate. Girls raised by involved fathers also have a healthy familiarity with the world of men. They don’t wonder how a man’s facial stubble feels or what it’s like to be hugged by strong arms. This knowledge builds emotional security and safety from the exploitation of predatory males.
Boys who grow up with dads are less likely to be violent. This is HUGE for me. I have noticed in my dating/married life that the men I choose who had involved fathers are more respectful. The ones whose fathers have worked crazy hours or decided to leave the home have long-lasting effects. Far too often a man will be in his 30s and still blame his father for his issues, even if he hasn’t seen him in ten or more years.
Dads…step up. Your kids need you. Your wives need you. Our society needs you. “More than 40 percent of mothers are now the sole or primary source of income for the household, according to White House data. This reflects both a rise of single mothers — 65 percent participate in the labor force — and the fact that more married women are out-earning their husbands. Twenty-four percent of married women now earn more than their husbands, compared to only seven percent in 1970.”
Mess Hall Mom 